Some days, I try to write poetry and recall Noel Bastable.

O Beetle how I weep to see
Thee lying on thy poor back!
It is so very sad indeed.
You were so shiny and black.
I wish you were alive again
But Eliza says wishing it is nonsense and a shame.

--- Edith Nesbit, The Story of the Treasure Seekers

with illustrations by the author

The Coloured Lands by G.K. Chesterton. Illustrated by the author.

I put this on request at the library merely because it was written by G.K. Chesterton. I thought it might be a book of essays or something. Having only flipped through it and examined the table of contents thus far, I can't say more than this: It is utterly delightful. It appears to have a little bit of everything - comic poetry, stories and fairy tales, and pictures. Lots of pictures, actually. I never want to return it to the library.

5 reasons to be happy

I woke up feeling rather down and the gloom has been hovering over me all day, so...

5 reasons to be happy:

5. I'm rereading Till We Have Faces. It's been a long time since my first reading (3 years, I think).

"No, no no," she said. "You don't understand. Not that kind of longing. It was when I was happiest that I longed most. It was on happy days when we were up there on the hills, the three of us, with the wind and the sunshine … where you couldn't see Glome or the palace. Do you remember? The colour and the smell, and looking at the Grey Mountain in the distance? And because it was so beautiful, it set me longing, always longing. Somewhere else there must be more of it. Everything seemed to be saying, Psyche come! But I couldn't (not yet) come and I didn't know where I was to come to. It almost hurt me. I felt like a bird in a cage when the other birds of its kind are flying home.

4. My Peter Pan cast. ♥

3. I learned how to do a heart in HTML. ♥ You have no idea how happy this makes me.

2. "This Charming Girl - handmade and vintage treasures for all your whimsical jewelry needs" - Camera Shy Necklace I didn't even know I had "whimsical jewelry needs" until I found this website.

1. The fact that I actually had to make myself stop at five. I have more reasons.

That in itself is very cheering. All right. I feel better now. :)

First Impressions

(I need a little sidebar banner that says "This blog is addicted to Jane Austen." Anybody care to make me one?)

So I was thinking about my first time with Jane's books. I started with Emma and loathed it and finished with Northanger Abbey and was utterly delighted. What happened in between? I'll show you.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS as well as second and third and sometimes fourth IN A NUTSHELL.
Mild spoilers inevitable.

Emma

First reading: July 2007 Reaction: OHMYGOSH WHY DOES EVERYONE CARE SO MUCH ABOUT FRANK CHURCHILL?

Second reading: February 2008 Reaction: Uh, Emma? Mr. Elton is hitting on you, darling. WAKE UP.

Third reading: May 2009 Reaction: Romance! Knightley! Wittiness and humor!

Fourth reading: April 2010 Reaction: Jane Austen is my hero.

Pride & Prejudice

First reading: August 2007 These characters talk a lot.

Second reading: January 2008 Reaction: Happy sigh.

Third reading: May 2009 Reaction: Giggle, giggle, squee, chuckle, giggle, sigh.

Fourth reading: June 2010 Reaction: (Mute adoration of Jane) Also: I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT THIS.

Sense & Sensibility

First reading: September 2007 Reaction: Edward, what have you done!?

Second reading: January 2009 Reaction: The Colonel is how old, please?

Third reading: January 2010 Reaction: Oh, Willoughby. How could you? :( :( :(

Fourth reading: July 2010 Reaction: Every teenage girl should read this book.


Persuasion
First reading: October 2007 Reaction: Oh, look! A new baby sister! (I was reading the book in the hospital the night my little sister was born)

Second reading: December 2009 Reaction: Pretty much: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Mansfield Park

First reading: November 2007 Reaction: Everyone is stupid.

Second reading: August 2009 Reaction: Hey, I like Fanny now. Poor girl, misunderstood by family AND readers. 60 pages later: Mmk, I'm done liking Fanny.

(Clearly, I need to give this one another chance)

Northanger Abbey

First reading November 2007 Reaction: Giggle, squee, giggle!

Second reading: October 2009 Reaction: Stupid people are funny!


- all in good fun, of course,
Delaney

Finishing up Sense & Sensibility

Confession: I could read Sense & Sensibility over and over and over again. I really could. For some reason, this story pulls me in and keeps me entertained more than Jane's other books. It's not that it's my favorite (I still don't know which is my favorite. It's been Emma for a while). I just love spending time with these characters and the story they tell. It has the right mixture of sadness and joy, without leaving me with that bittersweet hollow feeling at the end. It helps that my copy (Penguin Classic's Hardbound Collection) is absolutely delicious: light blue and pink, with flowers on the cover that almost bring to mind the "art nouveau" style.

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

There are lots of good lessons to be learned in Sense & Sensibility. I was just rereading Elenatintil's wonderful review of the Emma Thompson/Kate Winslet Sense & Sensibility film. She writes, "Marianne and Elinor are not just dealing with the question of whether to marry for love or money, but with the question of "how does one conduct oneself when one is in love?" And that, believe it or not, is a question that every young person deals with. Do they show themselves richly enamored (as Marianne does) or remain guarded and aloof (like Elinor)? The times may be differant now, but even though our society embraces the openness of Marianne, we also see Marianne's heartbreak and embarassment repeating itself over and over again in our young people."

I don't even know what else to say. That's just so wonderfully put. :)

I'm almost finished with my re-read. Edward and Elinor are finally together. Everything is explained, everything is happy. I think Jane Austen gave Elinor the happiest possible ending. Instead of letting Edward come directly to her, tell her he couldn't think what he had ever seen in that Lucy Steele, and would Elinor pretty please marry him and make him the happiest man on earth, Jane put Elinor through a few pages of misery first and writes one of the most heartbreaking paragraphs I have ever read:

"Elinor now found the difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event, however certain the mind may be told to consider it, and certainty itself. She now found, that in spite of herself, she had always admitted a hope, while Edward remained single, that something would occur to prevent his marrying Lucy; that some resolution of his own, some mediation of friends, or some more eligible opportunity of establishment for the lady, would arise to assist the happiness of all. But he was now married, and she condemned her heart for the lurking flattery, which so much heightened the pain of the intelligence."

Even when Elinor hears that "Mr. Ferrars is married," she is calm. Amusingly, Marianne is the one who goes into hysterics.

Then, lo and behold, all misunderstandings are cleared away with the arrival of Edward. He is not married, and...

"Elinor could sit it no longer. She almost ran out of the room, and as soon as the door was closed, burst into tears of joy, which at first she thought would never cease."

That sudden sharp turn from misery to joy always gets me. :)

Another thing I love about this book is the warm, happy family atmosphere. Aside from Marianne and Elinor's obvious closeness, Mrs. Dashwood is a loving mother who takes good care of her children. Marianne clearly inherited her sense of drama from her mother, but Mrs. Dashwood is still a sensible woman who raised her daughters to be intelligent, virtuous and sweet young ladies. Unlike some other Austen mothers I can think of, whose children only turned out all right by some miracle of fate. The warmth of the Dashwood women's family life is very appealing, and it's so absent from Austen's other books. Think about it: In Pride & Prejudice, Jane and Lizzy are the only sane members of their family. Lizzy can't hold a conversation with her mother without giving up in exasperation at the latter's foolishness. In Mansfield Park, Fanny Price's parents give her up to rich relatives quite readily, and when Fanny goes back to visit them years later, she is disappointed with their vulgar manners and habits. Her relationship with the aforementioned rich relatives is no better. One aunt takes advantage of her submissive disposition and the other constantly picks on her. Her girl cousins look down on her and only her cousin Edmund pays her any proper attention or kindness. In Persuasion, Anne does not have ANYone of sense to talk to in her family. Her father and sister are conceited jerks and her younger sister is just silly. Emma never knew her mother and appears to take care of her aging father instead of the other way around. Catherine Morland in Northanger Abbey spends so much of the novel away from her parents that an accurate picture of her relationship with her family can never be drawn. Sense & Sensibility is the only one of Jane's novels that portrays the heroine's family in a truly positive light.

Now I am off to read the last few pages of this delightful book. :) Next on my Jane Austen reading list: Northanger Abbey.

Dancing - and those possessed of two left feet

(Another post from the midst of Jane-land)

The two first dances, however, brought a return of distress; they were dances of mortification. Mr. Collins, awkward and solemn, apologising instead of attending, and often moving wrong without being aware of it, gave her all the shame and misery which a disagreeable partner for a couple of dances can give. The moment of her release from him was exstacy.

Dancing. With partners. Of the opposite sex. Many teenagers would find this distinctly unnerving. I know I did, when I was in my first musical (The Music Man). Luckily for me, there were more girls than there were boys (aren't there always?). The dances worked with boy-girl and girl-girl couples, and I ended up dancing with my sister for the show.

Due to the multiple casting, I'm spending three shows dancing in the Sound of Music ensemble. I love this system - I had a horror of being just one of the crowd before I danced in The Music Man ensemble, but now I've learned to love it. It's a different sort of acting, and it's often just as important. For Sound of Music, girl-girl partnering for the dancing is NOT acceptable. For one thing, there's a dip at the end of one dance. And if you think about the situations we're dancing in - in one scene, a big party - that really requires boy-girl partners. So each week we girls must leave our shyness at home and not be afraid to say to the boys, "Hey, wanna be partners?" Yes, I know, that's not the way it should be. It's so unlike the days of Jane Austen when the gentleman courteously engaged the young lady for the next dance. But since the boys do not take the initiative in finding partners, the director's tune has changed from "Guys, grab a girl," to: "Girls, grab a guy."

Choosing a partner can be a tricky business. Sometimes it's just a matter of who is left over after all the best dancers are picked. Sometimes it's a matter of "No, I am NOT dancing with the guy singing Sombody to Love in a falsetto voice." Height must be taken into consideration. My younger sister is so fortunate as to be especially chummy with one of the boys around her height and she always dances with him. Until the other night, when we were assigned our partners for the show, I really don't know if she danced with anyone else since rehearsals began. And I don't blame her. He's a very good dancer. Past experience with Certain People narrows down the list of possibilities a great deal(see anecdote under "often moving wrong without being aware of it" down below).

I myself have become a tolerable dancer since I first began. I have been put in the first row onstage in two shows - this was a huge confidence booster way back when I wasn't so confident about my dancing. To own the truth, I dance with more animation than real skill. My feet go where I want them to go, and they go there with great spirit, but I won't be winning any prizes for my uncommon gracefulness.

But I am a good enough dancer to be sensible of the discomfort that comes from dancing with a partner who seems to have two left feet. I have had my share of those "Mr. Collins" dancing partners.

"Awkward and solemn" - You could smile at me a little bit. I promise I won't think it means you're in love with me. And believe it or not, we are supposed to be touching each other. Once I danced with a guy who was either a terrible dancer, really nervous, or thought his girlfriend was watching. His hand was at least six inches from my waist. And then of course there are the not-so-solemn partners who always want to talk, prompting me to think of another quote from - guess where! "Do you talk by rule, then, while dancing?" My sister's assigned dancing partner seems very solemn indeed. She says he is most certainly of "an unsociable and taciturn disposition."

"Apologising instead of attending" - Once, a guy was trying to dip me. I could tell as I was going down that he wasn't supporting me enough. It is not pleasant to discover that your partner is not going to dip you properly when you're already halfway down. So I just sort of gently lowered myself to the floor, rather than lose my balance and fall ungracefully. So there I was, lying on the floor, laughing at the absurdity of the situation as the music ended. My partner was profusely apologetic. I really think he felt bad... he certainly wasn't laughing when he said "sorry" about six times. But I was uninjured, and it was certainly less embarrassing than it could have been.

"And often moving wrong without being aware of it" - By far my wildest dancing partner story is this: We were dancing the Grand Waltz. This is danced at the party at the end of Act 1, and the melody is a waltz version of My Favorite Things. I am usually very patient with my partners. Not everyone can learn the dances quickly - I've definitely been there! But this guy was really trying my patience. We twisted around, he saying, "No, get over there! Aaahhh!!! This is NOT one of my favorite things! No, that's wrong. Ah, crap!" I was trying to guide him as best as I could. Then, in the middle of the dance, he broke away and had, to all appearances, a tantrum. He just sort of ... shrieked... and flapped his arms around. I was horrified.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I just had to get that out of my system."
"Well now it's out," I said, "So please don't do it again!"

It was indeed a dance of mortification.

I'm always relieved when we learn who our permanent dancing partners are. Even though it's not such a big deal to find a partner for myself anymore, I like to be told who to dance with. We found out a few nights ago, and my partner is really not a bad sort. He's friendly enough (without being overly-chatty), doesn't swear when he misses a step, generally knows what he's doing, and can dip me quite competently.

All the discomfort and unpleasantness of finding a partner, getting your toes stepped on (or getting whacked in the face, or arm, or stomach, or ear), and standing for prolonged periods of time with your arms around each other aside, these dances have an old-fashioned grace and pattern that do make me feel like I could be at a ball at Meryton. Oftentimes I have been obliged to sit down due to the scarcity of gentlemen in the room, and this gives me leave to observe the people before me. Sometimes I even think I can find Pride & Prejudice correspondants for some of the people I see. There are no Mr. Darcys (our boys are forced to give consequence to young ladies who have been slighted by other gentleman - or weren't quick enough claiming a fellow). There are no Mrs. Bennets - thank Heaven! There are Charlotte Lucases, to share our dancing woes with. My sister is surely Jane Bennet, and her favorite partner is Mr. Bingley, who offended several young ladies by not asking them to dance (but they are not in love, I assure you all). There are, perhaps, Lydias and Kittys, but you didn't hear it from me. I'm sure there are Mary Bennets, who should infinitely prefer a book. There are Mr. Collinses to be sure. And every girl is, in her own way, a Lizzy Bennet.

More Pride & Prejudice (reclaiming the classic and utterly darling artwork)

Pride and Prejudice Without Zombies at Austenprose.com. "Reclaiming the Classic." I started my re-read half a month ahead of the event, but I'll still be following the blog. I'm a huge fan of anything without zombies, so this should be great. ;)

Pride & Prejudice illustrations by an Italian artist. No matter how much of a purist you are, no matter how much the idea of P&P as a Marvel comic revolts you, who could help but be delighted with these colorful and comical illustrations of the story!? Click on the different places on the map to see the pictures that go with each location. (Personal favorites: Mr. Collins wagging his tail at Lady Catherine at Rosings, Lizzy and Wickham envisioning Mr. Darcy with horns and a pitchfork at Meryton, Lizzy's petticoat "six inches deep in mud" at Netherfield Mr. Darcy offering his heart to Lizzy at Hunsford, Mr. Darcy in his pond... with a smitten frog atop his head!) Each illustration is accompanied by an appropriate quote from the novel. And I'm not certain, but I believe the page is a work in progress, so keep checking back for new illustrations.

It is a rule with me, that a person who can write a long letter, with ease, cannot write ill."

"That will not do for a compliment to Darcy, Caroline," cried her brother - "because he does not write with ease. He studies too much for words of four syllables. - Do not you, Darcy?"

"My style of writing is very different from yours."

"Oh!" cried Miss Bingley, "Charles writes in the most careless way imaginable. He leaves out half his words, and blots the rest."

"My ideas flow so rapidly that I have not time to express them - by which means my letters sometimes convey no ideas at all to my correspondents."

"Your humility, Mr. Bingley," said Elizabeth, "must disarm reproof."

"Nothing is more deceitful," said Darcy, "than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast."

"And which of the two do you call my little recent piece of modesty?"

"The indirect boast - for you are really proud of your defects in writing, because you consider them as proceeding from a rapidity of thought and carelessness of execution, which if not estimable, you think at least highly interesting."

I am re-reading Pride & Prejudice. Something about this book, more than any of Jane Austen's others, is so irresistably quotable and applicable to real life. Jane's dialogue never ceases to captivate me, and I particularly enjoy these conversations at Netherfield, while poor Miss Bennet is lying upstairs with a headache and sore throat. There's so much wit and thought, and so much going on between the lines. If I were Lizzy, I would never want to leave! Which tempts me to quote Miss Austen again:


'My idea of good company, Mr Elliot, is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.'

'You are mistaken,' said he gently, 'that is not good company; that is the best." ~ Persuasion

There will never be another Jane.